A lot of crazy things happened in the world in 2016, but the following poem is more of a reflection of a personal journey of which I am still chaotically in process than a commentary on recent events. I hope it can encourage you in your own life story.
Near the beginning of the year, I decided to gamble on bringing something I had stuffed away for 10 years to the surface. It has not produced the result I was hoping for, but deep down I always knew it probably would not . . . this year has been hard, but God has been good to me through music, writing, counseling, family, and friends.
I’m limping into these first few days of 2017 with a wounded, yet living hope (1 Peter 1:3-5).
The Gamble
by Lindsey Snyder
by Lindsey Snyder
I never expected to win,
to lay out my cards:
coy smile, Royal Flush
well maybe
a 1 in 175,000,000 powerball chance
best chance I’d ever have
so why not try?
but with only one ticket
the odds were never in my favor
so why can’t I accept that I’ve lost?
spent all my money
at the slot machines
trying to get
twenty-four cherries in a row
empty pockets, hands, heart
slowly admitting the longings and losses
opening up to higher winnings
this I know:
bankrupt hearts are primed to be dealt
a new hand
once they can learn to fold
run! run to beauty!
my rebel t3i high-definition could capture this but the futility becomes apparent when i realize my camera was left at work undeterred i bound up stairs past sister and friend in a frenzy ask where my sister’s camera is but she doesn’t know so i shout i must capture beauty my friend replies you can’t capture beauty but i barely hear and the camera is found and i grasp it in victory turn it on the battery is dead.
run! run to beauty!